OMO EKO CHRONICLES: EPISODE 3

OMO EKO CHRONICLES: TALES OF A LAGOS WIFE AND MOTHER

 

…..I remembered a friend of my bosom friend querying and asking if I was sure I hadn't gone down low…

…..she quipped", listing the merits of sexual intimacy prior to marriage, from having full knowledge of the potency of the man to how great he'll be in bed, and also to how fertile the woman can be…

The wedding was a huge success, the turnout was very impressive, the church was filled to the brim, I could spot my mother’s family in their aso-ebi and pink gele head gear, all decked up and looking glamorous and beautiful, and all wanted to be identified with the bride{familiarity}, this I observed when asked to come sign the marriage register, they all stood up and followed suit, I was a bit pissed because I thought, what’s the fuss, I was so stressed and it was obvious in my facial expression, the photographer had kept urging and encouraging me to smile as it might affect the end result of the pictures; and the reception was mighty full, my husband kept asking if I was sure we were at the right venue, I smiled wryly; and as with every occasion to experience little flaws and flops, mine was no exception, the wedding cake was a disaster, I could not bring myself to cut the cake which was made by husband’s great-aunt{to think that my husband said he paid for that cake}, the best man had to tell the master of ceremony to skip the aspect of cutting of the wedding cake; some of my husband’s family were unattended to, I had to call the attention of my maid of honor who hurriedly made sure they were well taken care of. Weddings are much more than beautiful gowns, crowds of people, and expensive decorating. A wedding is a time of COMMITMENT. It should include worship and giving thanks to God as well as the celebrating of the wonderful blessing God has given both the bride and groom. The wedding ceremony is an appropriate time to reflect on the example of unconditional love, which God has demonstrated, thus, I decided not to focus on the little inadequacies and revel in the moment. Did I dance, of course I very well did that, I danced and danced, and there was the introduction of who and who, and do you remember the mother, daughter of this and that on the dance floor…………my families and in-laws all thronged to the dance floor to outdo themselves, and by night my siblings had turned a wedding party to a mixture of hip-hop and high life party {trust guys now}.

A hotel was booked by my husband’s friends wherein we lodged in after the party, I was totally ragged out and edgy and all I wanted was to get enough sleep{the clinging, hugging and crying of siblings, friends and families at the reception was indescribable, the feeling, eerie },but my husband kept nudging and urging me to prep up good for the night, yea, prep up, having fulfilled the obligation and holy commandment of being pure and chaste, subduing the raging hormones and human passions which of course were constantly rearing its head as we were always together, if it was not mid-week service in church, then it was seeing the movies or relaxing at a fun spot together, there was a particular night we were tempted to share a kiss whilst dropping me off at home, haaaaaaaaaaa that night; and of course I had my doubts about his potency, because this man, this man that I have decided to spend the latter part of my years with, is known to be rigid, old-fashioned and not very expressive{I am more of the lovey-dovey type; in my aunty’s words, “you know the words and death that can kill and raise love”}, some of my friends had asked me pointedly if I was sure of what I was getting into, they felt it was very imperative I know how things stand, ohhhhh how I remembered a friend of my bosom friend querying and asking if I was sure I hadn't gone down low, if it was what I wanted or merely conforming and fulfilling godly standard as opposed to the worldly standard and tradition of sexual intimacy prior to marriage, she quipped", listing the merits of sexual intimacy prior to marriage, from having full knowledge of the potency of the man to how great he'll be in bed, and also to how fertile the woman can be,she went on to mention some rooted traditions and culture where a woman is expected to conceive before performing any form of marital rites. 

 

Chastity means abstention from sexual activity outside of marriage and is a Christian obligation, for the Christian there is one rule and one rule only: total abstention from sexual activity prior to marriage and total faithfulness within marriage. Christians are to prize the sanctity of sex. This means learning the disciplines of longing, loneliness, uncertainty, hope, trust and unconditional commitment to Christ-a commitment requiring that regardless of what passion we may feel, we must be pure. Purity means freedom from contamination, from anything that would spoil the taste or the pleasure, reduce the power or in any way adulterate what a thing is meant to be. Purity before marriage consists of giving ourselves to and for each other in obedience to God. Sexual purity is one of the foremost means of safeguarding a marriage from behaviors that pollute, corrupt, infect, or destroy it------physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Passion must be held by principle. The principle is love----not merely erotic, sentimental, or sexual feeling. There is no other way to control passion and no other route to purity and joy. Within marriage, sexual union is natural, healthy, and pleasurable not only for the moment-----but for all of life together. Sexual intimacy is natural, in the sense in which the original Designer created it to be. When virginity and purity are no longer protected and prized, there is dullness, monotony, and sheer boredom. By trying to find fulfillment everywhere, you find it nowhere. Any intimate sexual relationship outside of monogamous fidelity within the covenant of marriage is condemned as sexual immorality. If you choose to avoid the sin of immorality, that is Gods ideal; but if you have already given away your virginity, the message of the gospel proclaims New Birth, a new beginning, and a new creation.