OMO EKO CHRONICLES: EPISODE 1 - The Beginning
Welcome
to Chronicles of Omo Eko. I did not think that it would come so soon, when I
will have another opportunity to share my experiences with the world with the
intention of affecting positively with my experiences in Lagos, my Lagos, your
Lagos, or we-Lagos like others describe it.
Have
you ever dropped something so important to you all for the sake of love? I do
not mean a physical thing right now. I mean something that kind of makes you
the you, you love. Now it is getting confusing right? Alright, I will explain.
As
a lady, if I thought I would ever drop something for the sake of love or
anything, it would never be my independence. Yeah, that’s true; I would never
have thought that I would ever be under the ‘control’ of a man in ways that
would make me happily succumb and bend from my personal beliefs. Now don’t get
me wrong oooooo! I am and was not a Margret Thatcher. I have lived a life that
has taught me that I had to be free from laziness and dependence on the
‘schemes’ of men. I have lived a life of ‘I
can really make it with my choices’ which I always believed were and are
still always carefully thought out. I am a thoroughbred Lagosian.
And
that is exactly what confronted me a few days to my wedding. My precious
independent me was going to give way to a more considering me.
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With
preparations for my wedding in top gear, the thought of a whole lot of things
flopping had me agitated. It was going to be a low-key affair but with a long list
of things undone. I had the more than two hundred beautiful pinkish wedding
invitation cards neatly arranged on the dining table and I was feeling jittery.
I thought something was amiss which I couldn’t just explain. And I received a call not to long ago from my husband-to-be
about holding on to some decisions and cancelling so many things off my
‘perfect list’. As a detail oriented independent lady I wanted a flawless
wedding, maybe not a grand one but one garnished with a meticulous organization
devoid of all the errors I noticed in some other events hitherto attended. I
wanted a little luxury of some things towards the wedding which I felt even if
I got married modestly should be available. These include an extra hotel room
apart from the two that had been booked, I wanted another bus that will convey
my bridal train, sisters and friends to the venue of the reception as opposed
to what I and hubby agreed on and some other cool ideas.
And
with reality dawning on me, I realized that my wings have been clipped since my
engagement to this man (no regret at all); but the independent me was the one
who desired the ‘little’ luxury. And in accepting to marry and become one with
my hubby, I knew I must be willing to lay aside all that pertains to my old
loyalties and lifestyles of separate goals and plans and be joined to another.
The
marriage counseling session kept building questions within, leaving me with
mixed feelings of ever wanting to get married.
Herein
lays my feminism, my independent being put to test.
Independent
{of sb/sth} confident and free to do things without needing help from other
people. Feminism is somewhat
difficult to define, for the term
means different things to different people, it means the belief and aim that women should have the same rights and
opportunities as men, the struggle to achieve this aim.
Femininity
receives; Femininity surrenders. Surrender is a key ingredient in femininity.
This does not imply that a woman should surrender to evils such as coercion or
violent conquest. A woman in marriage surrenders her independence, her name,
her destiny, her will, and ultimately, in the marriage chamber, her body, to
the man {total submission, sacrifice}. As a mother, she surrenders in a very
real sense her life for the life of the child, {selfless love, and sacrifice}.
As a single woman, she surrenders herself in a unique way for service to her
Lord and for service to family and community.
The
thing is, as an Omo Eko born, bred
and raised in Lagos Island; I built and structured myself to be strong, fierce
and industrious independently; trusting my judgments and instinct alone. I did
not decide to be independent overnight. No I didn’t, I found myself battered by
reality into it.
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