ROUGH, RAW AND RIGHT…the musings of a Christian brother working and living in Lagos!


ROUGH, RAW AND RIGHT…the musings of a Christian brother working and living in Lagos!
EPISODE3



.."You will also have to bring your international passport for visa processing too, because the Canadian embassy asked that all the passports be submitted at the same time..." And the phone went dead! Really dead! Not my phone but the woman's phone...


It was the same Mama. She has the number of my other line! She said that she suspected my battery was flat hence, she tried it.
"My son, I can send the money to your account right away if that's the problem"
Problem?
THAT isn't the problem ma I noted"
"So there's a problem" she said.

This woman is trying to be smart with me I thought. If she isn't gonna calm down to properly negotiate with me, I might have to cut the phone, I said to myself. I don't have the time to waste even though I wasn't the one who made the call. I wanted the call to end so I could continue writing because it excites me to write when I am in the groove to write.
"I never said that there was a problem in the first place, you brought it up ma". I was beginning to get agitated by this wannabe smart woman. I was considering cutting the call when she mentioned something.
"You will also have to bring your international passport for visa processing too, because the Canadian embassy asked that all the passports be submitted at the same time..." And the phone went dead! Really dead! Not my phone but the woman's phone.
I called back but the response was that it is switched off. And after about what seemed like a 100 trials, I gave up and decided to call the Mama who referred her to me. You won't believe it! Same thing....her phone was dead too! My country we hail thee. Anyway, I will try again later. The mama is an enigma. And it could also be a prank.

And back to you my dear reader. Sorry for that diversion. I guess you already understand that in this part of the world, it is always not interesting to go straight to the point if you really want to make your point because you might end up not making any point if you want to go straight to the point. I hope I made my point.

And back to the matter and situation at hand. With the voice threatening to blow my head to pieces behind me, I was terrified and thought it was a dream or a movie script. I didn't know what to do. Opening the door became a tedious deed. I just could no longer find the key and at the same time I wanted to guess who the uninvited guest is.
"My bro…brother please I beg you, take it easy", I heard myself say.
He didn't say anything.
I felt encouraged to say more since he didn't respond.
"I am an ordinary journalist who is struggling like you you you, you you see, I am am just also a young ma ma man who can can..."
It was that bad! I stammered and sweated profusely. I didn't hear any voice and the next thing I heard was the sound of a siren! I turned around in fear and the siren actually came from my neighbour's car!
I heaved a sigh of relief and looked around to know where the crook must have gone to. I carefully looked around but he seemed to have vanished into thin air. Hallelujah! I waited for my neighbour to come out to put off the siren.
I was still staring at the car that just saved my life with all its lights blazing when I heard the same voice again.
"Next time, I will blow your head to pieces!"
I HAVE TO PICK THIS CALL, GUESS IT’S THE CANADIAN MAMA!

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